Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Apparently you make a good broom.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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