My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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