stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am one with the molecules
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
A+ Viking dick
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
