...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
