Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
