Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
what day is it and did you see me today?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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