Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im holly from the hills drunk
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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