And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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