Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
