I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
