I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
