Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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