Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
