Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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