I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
