He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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