and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
