I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
