Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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