Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
