Whod you bang
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
