he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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