i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Randomize
