I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
