I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
