Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
