i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
