jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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