You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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