Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
