I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
