Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
