I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
