just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
