he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
