White coat. Heels.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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