Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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