Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
