Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
