Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I wish you could order shots online.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
