a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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