Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
