she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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