so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
