Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I think i got beer on your cat.
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