don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
