We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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