i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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