just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
