We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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