Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
