i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
