I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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