But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
