Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
