I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Randomize
