Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
