She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
