I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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