69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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