Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
