if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
