Cold hands, warm shart.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize