Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
