Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize