Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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