I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
