what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
