we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
