I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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