I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Randomize
